Post by Katya Kanazaki on Mar 7, 2017 16:22:45 GMT
Katya Kanazaki
FEMALE. | Fifteen | Demisexual. | year two |
ARTISTIC CREATION. | SEALS. |
POWER DESCRIPTIONS
ARTISTIC CREATION
Think of a pen, then a paper. Now visualize what you want to appear within the parchment. Imagination, the true mother of art is what most artist use to birth out their different pieces. Artistic creation isn’t all that different from a blank parchment. A person’s imagination is the only limit it has, as its power source and fuel.
A unique power that manifested in her preteens. Artistic creation is more or less an ability that allows her to connect her drawings into the real world. Cars, plants, inanimate objects. Life is the only limit it can’t replicate as the price would equal another life as well. A price, why yes. Her ability follows the old order of equivalent exchange. For her to bring her creations to this plane of reality she needs to use her blood as a conduit. A connection of sorts to connect whatever she wanted to bring out into the real world. At least that would have been the gist of it. As of now this ability of hers is currently sealed due to her sealing backfiring on her.
Not to mention her ability is also connected to her essence. Her life force also functions as a bond alongside her blood in a sense. The more she uses it, the shorter her lifespan gets. Not to mention it also goes how large of an item she wants to bring into reality.
SEALS
It's as it says, Seals the ability to dabble with the art of sealing or fuinjutsu as its called back in the native land. A rare ability that she somehow inherited from her grandmother. True the use of runes or glyphs. Though she prefers using kanji symbols just as her grandmother taught her. The abilities one can do with seals is like with her first ability, it's only limited by imagination. Think of it as a computer program, and seals being the codes that make it function. It takes a great deal of study and know how to make seals function as they should. Runes that needs to be carefully understood. She's no expert in this ability. In fact she's barely out of apprentice level considering she's merely learning for a good four years or so...Or was that three?
APPEARANCE
In all her fifteen years of life Katya’s often been compared to a delicate porcelain doll. Due to her height and the child’s pale alabaster complexion she inherited from her Russian descent mother. She stands no taller than five feet and five inches exactly on the dot. As you can imagine… height has never been kind enough to allow her to inherit her mother’s model-like height of 5’7 or her own twin’s 5’6 stature.
Because of this Katya’s rather sensitive about anyone mentioning it. Even a small hint is enough to irk the young girl. Ironically her height matched what genes managed to give her in looks. Her hair originally had been a mousy light brown lightened by her mother’s silvery blonde hair tone, now cut short and dyed blonde. Blue orbs the same light shade as the fair skies stared back from within those almond shaped orbs complementing the child’s petite tiny physique.
In terms of clothing Katya’s flexible when it comes to style. Mostly choosing clothes that matches the weather or have a keen appreciation for comfort. Her closet is mostly full of long sleeved shirts to jeans as well as a few hooded shirts here and there. Normally though she just wears the male school uniform while having a grey cardigan over it.
Because of this Katya’s rather sensitive about anyone mentioning it. Even a small hint is enough to irk the young girl. Ironically her height matched what genes managed to give her in looks. Her hair originally had been a mousy light brown lightened by her mother’s silvery blonde hair tone, now cut short and dyed blonde. Blue orbs the same light shade as the fair skies stared back from within those almond shaped orbs complementing the child’s petite tiny physique.
In terms of clothing Katya’s flexible when it comes to style. Mostly choosing clothes that matches the weather or have a keen appreciation for comfort. Her closet is mostly full of long sleeved shirts to jeans as well as a few hooded shirts here and there. Normally though she just wears the male school uniform while having a grey cardigan over it.
PERSONALITY
Katya… in a word is akin to a rock when it comes to her personality. Living the way she had to, being raised by a mother whom has more mental issues than nuts in a fruitcake is bound to leave some lasting effects on a child. A child just as sensitive as her. From an early age she had to deal with swimming through all the chaos in her life, her illness robbing her of a childhood. Friends she could call on her age instead of doctors in white coats. She wasn’t given a chance to fully develop her social skills. Aside from hanging around her sister, the girl practically lived an isolated life. And because of that, she’s somewhat….
Socially awkward in terms of crowds. How to act near them, or actually try breaking any sort of ice between herself and those around her. She’s completely clueless unless someone else does it. The best bet is she’ll merely pretend she wasn’t there. She’s a natural wallflower, preferring to be on the side lines rather than the center of everyone’s attention like her twin.
She’s a quiet child who wont speak unless someone else speaks to her. So expecting her to start any sort of conversations is like…waiting for a dry well to overrun with water. Not to mention the child has trust issues stemming from childhood. She wasn’t used to people, thus questions the need to fully open up to anyone. Plus the fact she did so once only for those people to be cruelly ripped out from her hands.
First her aunt, and then her friend and now… well her twin being in a coma further incase her heart back into its cold shell. She’s a hard worker when she’s in the mood, or when something really does interest her. But nowadays though she tends to wear distant approach to things. She keeps others at an arms-length, still refusing anyone to enter through the walled up defence she has long build up.
Katya does…however have her moments, all it takes is a well-aimed comment or situation. She’s rather easily flustered. Quick in her words thanks to that sharp tongue of hers. To be honest the kid is like a grumpy cat at times.
Socially awkward in terms of crowds. How to act near them, or actually try breaking any sort of ice between herself and those around her. She’s completely clueless unless someone else does it. The best bet is she’ll merely pretend she wasn’t there. She’s a natural wallflower, preferring to be on the side lines rather than the center of everyone’s attention like her twin.
She’s a quiet child who wont speak unless someone else speaks to her. So expecting her to start any sort of conversations is like…waiting for a dry well to overrun with water. Not to mention the child has trust issues stemming from childhood. She wasn’t used to people, thus questions the need to fully open up to anyone. Plus the fact she did so once only for those people to be cruelly ripped out from her hands.
First her aunt, and then her friend and now… well her twin being in a coma further incase her heart back into its cold shell. She’s a hard worker when she’s in the mood, or when something really does interest her. But nowadays though she tends to wear distant approach to things. She keeps others at an arms-length, still refusing anyone to enter through the walled up defence she has long build up.
Katya does…however have her moments, all it takes is a well-aimed comment or situation. She’s rather easily flustered. Quick in her words thanks to that sharp tongue of hers. To be honest the kid is like a grumpy cat at times.
BIOGRAPHY
Your first memories were nothing but the white walls of the hospital room you were confined in. Strong smells of disinfectant mixed in with medications often tickled your nose in disgust. Every night you’d fall asleep to the faint beeps of the heart guard placed beside your bed during your worse days. You were named Katya, yes Katya. Daughter of Kanazaki Kazama and his foreign wife Nadezerisha Vladimir. You were a twin, identical infact that if you both face each other it be like looking at each other’s reflection. You remember being named as the sicklier one in the pair, this wasn’t your first time being confined here. In fact, in your young five years of life you can recall with utmost certainty each visit you made here.
Katya Yurisha Kanazaki was born while lady luck decided to take a vacation and while fate herself grew bored in waiting for a new play toy to appease her boredom. She was born a premmie alongside her sister on a cold December night, two weeks before Christmas when a snow storm threatened to sweep across Tokyo area. The first cries had been her sister whom came out screaming to the world while she was the silent twin whom barely made it alive to take her first breath. Her first month of life was spent connected to breathing machine to help the young infant breath. She and her sister had been the unlucky recipient of a bad roll with a randomizer trying to decide which traits they should inherit. Unfortunately for the twins it was their father’s curse that they inherited from the man.
Her father suffered from a form of sickle cell, his though was a lot milder which her twin was fortunate enough to inherit. But for her…she got the worse end of the stick, instead of the milder version of the infamous blood disorder she instead inherited a rare form of it. Sickle cell SS, a rather rare and far more fatal form of it. Her parents were naturally devastated, doctors already told them to prepare for a funeral because the child’s chances were far too slim for them to guarantee a chance for her to survive. Her mother never wanted daughters. She never wanted anyone whom wasn’t considered ‘perfect’ like their first child who she considered her light. A male, like her father often told her a male heir, females weren’t wanted. They weren’t needed, it was as if the older man was right there berating her as he had done in her childhood. Why had she given birth to girls… The shock of the birth followed by knowing both were ill was enough to develop post partem depression. PTSD if we must be technical. She began detaching herself from her daughters. Any motherly emotion she should have felt instantly faded. Leaving her strangely cold to the idea they might not be alive for long. They were broken children anyway. Nothing of use for her in the long run. Instead of bowing to their expectations of her demise she proved them wrong, she survived yet at the price of a life being connected to hospital visits and medications. She had her first surgery at two when her ailment created a block to one of her arteries. Then again on her seventh year.
As a young child, she often tried to vie for her mother’s attention. The only parent whom was near them often was her father but that was only when he came home. He worked overseas you see, mother barely looked at them. Even as a young child she noticed those instances of coldness lingering on her mother’s orbs every time she or her sister approached her. She often made excuses, she’s too busy she always says. Go to your nanny. Their mother barely gave them the time of day in their young existence. She remembered her and her twin being tossed between caretaker to nanny on a daily basis.
Their nanny, an elderly lady became their mother in a way. Next came their brother whom dotted on the twins often. Mother seemed to love their brother far more than she did to them. At such a young age, she never did understand her reasons to why she neglected them. Physically she never harmed them. She gave them their needs all except for the parental love they yearned. She was once like her sister, always wishing for their mother’s love. But that soon ended. She grew tired, of it. It was around seven years when she decided to stop.
Ironically it was also at that age when her aunt came to them. Her father’s sister whom he actually begged to live with them. He had begun to grew worry over the state of his wife’s mental health. Their frequent arguments always lingered on how she treated their little girls. He couldn’t do much, he wasn’t often there. So he had to compromise. He knew how her sister adored her nieces and nephews but at the same time despised his wife, he couldn’t exactly blame her. Zerika’s personality outside of work is less than desirable but she was still the mother of her children. That wasn’t going to change anytime soon. At the same time the feeling was shared by his wife on her dislike towards his sister.
Dumping those two in the same household…was like putting together two starved mountain lions to fight for a piece of raw meat. Pure and utter chaos was bound to ensue but he had no other alternative. He at the very least wanted to give his children some form of defence against their own mother. So Haruka came, much to Zerika’s dismay and annoyance. Her husband finally put his foot down. No matter what she said Haru was there to stay. Which suited the girl just fine as she was transferring to a high school closer to their home.
Haru in a way became both a sister and a mother to the siblings. She cared for them, she showed them affection they desperately craved from their mother. Katya more or less latched onto her despite the child’s growing aversion towards people. The quietest of the twins whom already questioned her trust towards others began to latch onto the care her aunt showed them. It was her whom taught them her love for music.
And it was the same love she fostered onto the twins. Music in a way became Katya’s escape from her troubles. It created a sanctuary in which she can forget her own issues.Her family troubles, her worries became inexistent. Music became a kin to a lover to her, a friend someone whom she can rely on.
But music… in true was a double-edged sword she hadn’t anticipated. It was during one of those instances where her aunt was teaching her and twin how to play the piano. She took to it like a fish to water while her sister was a close second. Their mother had been nearby when it happened, when she finally took noticed of her daughter’s talent in the musical arts. After all she prided herself for having worked in the same industry. She knew how to spot talent when it slapped her to the face. She could see the rough diamonds within her daughters. It was there she realized, that maybe she can manage to repair her broken children if not at least make some use out of them.
It was there the following weeks in which the girls finally got some for attention from their mother. The coming weeks music lessons got added into their schedules. The tutors their mother got were strict, the sort who demanded perfection out of their pupils. Her sister found her passion towards violins while she remained playing the piano. It was nine when they began playing for people. Mini concerts in which her mother would sign them up, her way of practically gloating the children she deemed worthless from birth. Yet their mother only showed them attention, none of it held a mother’s love. Haruka often got into arguments with their mother for their sake. Zerika often overworked the girls adding more and more to their plate. Which further irked Haruka to no end. Her sister tried her best, despite how their mother verbally berate them for the tiniest mistake in her presence. Kat had always tried to shield her younger twin. She was the oldest of the twins after all. Her duty had been to try and protect her innocent sister. And protect her she did, at the cost of shouldering most of the burden.
At that age a child was supposed to enjoy what small years childhood offered them but instead she had to learn how to pretend. To act, to force a smile even if she had no real reason to. It was how she learned how to act. And how she found out she had a knack for it. She began burying everything inside. Hiding it underneath a hidden box within her chest.
Locked up in chains circled by numerous coded locks. That’s where Kat locked everything deep inside where she’s sure it wouldn’t spill out. But she’s human… one of these days all of it was going to spill. No matter how tight of a grip she had on her mask. Ah… masks, during the years she build up quite a collection of it. It started when she realized their mother expected more than what they could give her. Their mother made no attempts to hide her greed in terms for asking her daughters to please her. Kat tried for a few years until only… innocent Lily was left vie for their mother’s inexistent love for them.
Years of stress on her young body wreaked havoc with her already fragile health. Her hospital visits became frequent the further she stressed her body. But still she learned to ignore it. Even ill her mother often forced them to work. So it became second nature for her to start ignoring her health. After all mother, didn’t care… despite seeing the fear on her sister’s eyes every time she collapsed out of exhaustion.
Short stays soon started stretching into week long stays in the hospital. Sometimes going as far as two weeks when her health started falling. She remembered how her grandmother often came to visit her in her father's steed. She stayed there, amusing the child with pictures, rune symbols which soon drew out her curiosity. As a way to amuse the curious child her grandmother happily began teaching her. Seals she told them they were, but as a young child at the time she hardly took note of their importance. To her, they were merely interesting symbols that caught her eye. Her grandmother only did it to amuse her. She knew that now that she's able to dwell on it, but soon mere amusement turned into a reason for her to actually visit their grandparents. She soon began spending time in their large manor, often in the presence of their grandmother whom actually enjoyed passing her knowledge despite knowing the fact the girl might not be able to use any of it in the future.
She didn’t remember when she started hiding her ailments from those around her. Maybe it was to keep her sister from worrying over her health like how she did with hers on a daily basis. Her dear sister was the one she was most concern of Lily…wasn’t known for having common sense in her system. If she had…she would have stopped trying to please their mother. It she had then she wouldn’t have agreed to their mother enlisting them both as candidates for a new idol project her company was working on. ‘Cinderella girls’ she heard her mother explain from time to time. But most of it she drowned as nonsense. Still her sister was excited at the prospect. For her…she reluctantly agreed. They were 12 when that happen.
Now dance lessons as well as voice got added into their plates yet she didn’t complain. She didn’t complain when her older brother began focusing more on his life, and what mother wanted. She didn’t say a word when he focused more on his school work. That was his life, all she did was merely focus on the task given to her. Nothing more nothing else.
Haruka, blessed her soul became the glue for the siblings she made sure none of the children forgot how to be kids even if it involved physically dragging her out of her room while she worked on her own piano pieces to spend with her siblings. Sometimes it’ll be out for ice cream or a picnic depending on her dear aunt’s mood at the time.
She often said it annoyed her but deep down the act often brought a small miniscule smile to her face. It was the time she can actually see the joy in her twin’s eyes. For that she was thankful for her aunt. Plus, the upside was she gets to spend time with her aunt despite her also growing schedule. Her aunt was a member of a band called Sleepless phantom whom also made their debut on the same talent agency she and her twin were in. Between Band gigs and college you can just imagine how time became hard to squeeze out of her busy schedule but still she made sure to keep an eye on her nieces and nephews. She didn’t trust her sister in law with a puppy, how could she trust her with the care of her darling ‘children’ yes children she began seeing the three children as her own. Instead of them being her brother’s.
She was twelve at the time when her aunt began feeling ill. First it started off as dizzy spells. Then it turned into weakening. Followed by her almost collapsing. Chest pains pop up here and there but she often disregarded it despite Kat’s already growing concerns. She wasn’t the only one. Her bandmates were practically begging her to see a doctor. She finally did, after their vocalist all but hauled her arse into the hospital. Kat didn’t know what happened after that, all she knew was her aunt coming home looking like she saw devil himself knocking at her front door. Cancer…she wished she figured it out earlier, her aunt wouldn’t tell her until at the very end of her life. Lung cancer, despite her impending doom her aunt tried acting as if nothing was wrong. She began spending time with them, teaching them. Helping with whatever they needed until… on the fourth month where they had to rush her to the hospital. Where she finally found out but it wasn’t through her aunt’s mouth. It was through listening to one of the doctors speak with her father and grandfather. It took his sister getting ill to drag her father back into the country. Somehow Kat felt annoyed by it, he couldn’t come if it was his daughter lying on that hospital bed but…if it was aunt Haruka, he’ll drop everything for her.
It was hard seeing the mother figure she came to know wilt on that bed. Day by day she grew paler, weaker. But every time they were there Haruka pulled up the same happy grin. She refused to let the kids see what really happening to her. Now if only she could fool her sharp niece. But she guessed it takes one to know a person who’s also hiding their ailments behind a façade.
Aunt often told her to live her life, to never let anyone hold her back. She kept on telling her this even to the end of her life. Her aunt perished at the young age of 24. When her cancer finally managed to win over her will to live.
Kat didn’t know whether she could cry, to allow herself that one moment of weakness to show. But in the end she stared at the coffin as they lowered it down with hardly a tear on her blank façade. Even as her own twin was balling her eyes out she chose to keep it in, adding it to the box inside her. Only when she was alone did she allow the tears to spill. To cry in silence at the reality of the only pillar she had aside from her siblings, gone from this world. There wont be anymore picnics, happy songs she’d play on her guitar while she and her siblings listened on.
The guitar was one of the things her aunt gave her but she didn’t have the heart to touch it. Too many painful memories she tried to buried deep but always unearths itself once she goes closer to her aunt’s guitar. Following her death her mother nearly celebrated in secret. Another thorn out of her side, her house was all hers again without the headaches of having to deal with her husband’s sister. To say Katazerika felt no sort of sadness towards her sister in law’s death.
Kat’s existence became a monotone replay of school, idol duties, hospital, taking care of lily and more lessons rinse and repeat. Her father began to grow worried but she often but shook it off telling them she was fine. But she wasn’t…all it took was her having to be rushed to the hospital again after suffering one of the worse sickle cell attacks she ever had in her young life. A blood clot developed around the right side of her heart. Which the doctor told her father was going to need surgery to clear. She was lucky to be alive at that point. Luck often did keep her alive, just to pleasure fate. She was after all fate’s new play toy. This was going to be the third surgery connected to her illness. Oh how she wanted to chuckle at the irony if her thoughts weren’t haunted by the looks of fear her sister had when she came to visit. All she wanted was to keep her dear sister innocent. If she couldn’t retain hers the very least she could was to keep what little childhood they have to her sister to enjoy. Last time she checked, crying over a dying sibling did not count as… a desire-able childhood. Then again neither was their predicament. But she didn’t have the heart to tell their father. He hadnt done anything before, so why should he start now. If only she knew it was her father who begged for his sister to keep an eye on them. The man’s hands were just as tied between his work and caring for his children.
It was during that time in the hospital when she began feeling a tingly sensation everytime she touched paper. Like an urge to draw keeps whispering to her. From time to time she ignored it. Often focusing on her books or music to drown out the boredom. But on some occasions, she did humour it, sketching animals she often spotted through her hospital room window. Birds that on occasion perched themselves on the window sill.
It took three months for her to recover right after that surgery, right after nearly flat lining a few times. She swore she actually saw her aunt waving at her a few times during it. From the moment she recovered the first thing Kat did was tossed herself back into her work despite warnings from her doctors to take it easy. She couldn’t. Not when she knew every time she slacked her mother would take it out on her sister. Adding more to her twin’s workload.
She was 13 when a girl named Aika joined their Merry group. A new idol still learning the ropes. It was also that time where her time as a solo artist ended and she ended up being paired with Aika to form a duo. She wasn’t too happy with it, hell she wanted to at least be in the same group as her sister whom was already happy with her own group. But she was stuck, at first the two barely got along. She was quiet, while Aika was lively, often trying to get her to talk when she didn’t want to. She was… in a sense reminding Katya of what her aunt would be like as a kid. And it hurt, she still barely got over her aunt’s death and now this girl who acts like her suddenly joined. To be honest she didn’t know what to make of it. But eventually she did get use to her antics, infact she slowly began anticipating it. She was… unknowingly allowing another person in. Regardless of the risk it posed to her own sanity. She was allowing another person inside.
Snow was what they called their unit. Aika suggested it, so she merely shrugged and agreed. Time got her to slowly trust despite her aversion for it. But Aika did work for it by being just as persistent and that was all lady fate needed to start playing with her again. It happened one afternoon, the dance studio was empty for the first time that day with the others heading out to lunch. She was left there, merely mulling over a sketch she’s been trying to do. A sketch of a dress she’s been pondering on sewing on her free time. She had just been finishing shading the lower hem when she accidentally nicked her hand on the sharp edges of the paper. Blood dripped onto the page, seeping into the paper. When before her eyes her blood began tracing the fine edges of her sketch. Right down the details of the dress she’s been working on. Eyebrows merely raised, a bit unnerved and somewhat fascinated she hadnt noticed the pen dropped from her hand or how the door creaked open. But her attention was fully fixated on the blood now moving on its own accord across the paper canvass. Slowly the paper bulged as if something was trying to break free, immediately the girl dropped it on instinct. Inching away as the very dress she was sketching practically popped out of the paper. Disbelief for the first time began crawling into her features. More so for Aika whom actually went back to try and drag her wayward friend to have lunch with them.
What she came into…was seeing a dress practically forced its way out of a notebook and her stunned friend just watching it. What’s a girl to do? A girl whom actually listens to her instincts first instead of her brain? Fear fuelled her own instincts. Who wouldn’t be when you just witnessed something that’s only supposed to be in animes, Japanese cartoons she often watched online.
“M-Monster…” The girl stammered, Kat immediately snapped her neck to her direction. She herself was already in shock, she tried forcing out words through her throat but nothing came, only the sheer horror as she noted the fear lacing Aika’s features. Aika was already beginning to back away, she didn’t try to, ask instead she bolted right out of there. Leaving Kat alone with a dress that seemingly came out of nowhere.
The next day she tried again talking to her friend but Aika wouldn’t go near her, instead the girl shouted at her. Calling her a monster infront of the others, of course no one really believed the girl. They hadnt seen it, Kat certainly wouldn’t tell them because even she didn’t believe it.
A monster… imagine her reaction to hear a supposed friend call her that. She hadn’t heard Lily practically flipping out on Aika or how the rest were already watching it out of stunned silence until their manager merely dragged her so called partner out until she calmed down.
A person she trusted…. Could be that cruel. It made her question her decision before on trusting people. Because of her, she began steeling her own heart back into its icy shell, she began looking back to how it happened, to what happened. That weird event she couldn’t figure out, she hadn’t attempted it again this time out of fear of not understanding why it had to happen. She had wished it hadn’t happened. But you can’t change the past. That was a given rule of the universe. But all she could was wish for it to disappear, something must have heard her because stopped feeling the tingling sensation she often felt when she touched paper. In the coming weeks so called partner practically left the agency. She was once more on her own.
She hadn’t heard anymore from Aika, she didn’t dare try to contact her either. For the now fifteen year old things started growing hectic again. Both in her outside and home life. Their mother began her charade again this time focusing on her sister. Despite her attempts in trying to stop her mother from outright degrading her poor sister. Lily had this massive sweet tooth she couldn’t control and so their mother often called her fat, even if she wasn’t. She was a healthy girl. Who enjoyed sweets. Her sister wasn’t pudgy but her mother wasn’t convinced. And Lily being Lily…she wanted to further please their mother. Against Kat and her brother’s knowledge the girl went online and manage to procure for herself a pack of experimental diet pills. Now if only she knew what kind of chaos would happen from those pills…she took them. For a full three days before she suddenly passed out during dance practice, before beginning to convulse on the floor. She was rushed to the hospital, strike two for Kat’s own nerves when she had to watch her sister literally get her stomach pumped out. Of course her father immediately flew back in once he found out, but by then it was only her and grandmother whom had to listen to the doctor as they had to rush her sister to surgery. Apparently she had an allergic reaction to the pills she was taking. The very same pills they found on her sister’s bag.
Again…another thing her mother caused.
And now she might end up losing her other half, but they managed to save her…unfortunately the stress caused her sister to slip into a coma to which she’s still in to this day.
One by one… First her aunt, and then her friend. And now her twin. The so called box inside her was beginning to burst, the locks barely holding the contents back. She knew one more hit and it was all going to burst free. She didn’t know how she managed the coming days. Between listening to her mother’s uncaring attitude towards her sister and then her father practically screaming at their mother. Threatening to move her kids out of her care, he was willing, willing enough to send the kids to their grandparents until their mother went to get mental help but she wouldn’t budge.
Honestly she stopped caring at this point. Even to how it led to her walking to the roof of the company building. 20 storeys from the ground floor in which she could actually see the night traffic beginning to slowly unwind in middle Shinjuku. What was supposed to be just a quick breath of fresh air turned into her walking over the ledge, sitting down while watching the roars of traffic underneath. They really did looked like ants…. Tiny little ants from her vantage point. One little nudge and might get to know what it feels like to have the wind slap her face… Well it would have been if someone had’nt placed their hand on her shoulder. The company president…and older gentlemen in his mid sixties stood over her with his aged grandfatherly smile and salt and pepper hair. The old man whom treated the kids as if they were his grandchildren. It all came as a blur to the child, the next she was in his office were her father was actually talking to him. She barely paid heed to their talks. Probably trying to decide which asylum to dump her in.
But they weren’t instead. Both had long decided the girl already tittering towards the edge. If tonight’s attempt hadn’t showed them that. Her father was the one to suggest a school overseas. He was incharge of her and her siblings…by all it was always the father that’s stuck deciding these things. And that’s how she ended up with her father already telling her she’ll be able to have the freedom they should have given her. She wanted to laugh, to pull out something sarcastic but instead she was getting a chance to be an unknown in a school outside of the country. Only this time…she decided to make sure she’ll REALLY be an unknown.
Katya Yurisha Kanazaki was born while lady luck decided to take a vacation and while fate herself grew bored in waiting for a new play toy to appease her boredom. She was born a premmie alongside her sister on a cold December night, two weeks before Christmas when a snow storm threatened to sweep across Tokyo area. The first cries had been her sister whom came out screaming to the world while she was the silent twin whom barely made it alive to take her first breath. Her first month of life was spent connected to breathing machine to help the young infant breath. She and her sister had been the unlucky recipient of a bad roll with a randomizer trying to decide which traits they should inherit. Unfortunately for the twins it was their father’s curse that they inherited from the man.
Her father suffered from a form of sickle cell, his though was a lot milder which her twin was fortunate enough to inherit. But for her…she got the worse end of the stick, instead of the milder version of the infamous blood disorder she instead inherited a rare form of it. Sickle cell SS, a rather rare and far more fatal form of it. Her parents were naturally devastated, doctors already told them to prepare for a funeral because the child’s chances were far too slim for them to guarantee a chance for her to survive. Her mother never wanted daughters. She never wanted anyone whom wasn’t considered ‘perfect’ like their first child who she considered her light. A male, like her father often told her a male heir, females weren’t wanted. They weren’t needed, it was as if the older man was right there berating her as he had done in her childhood. Why had she given birth to girls… The shock of the birth followed by knowing both were ill was enough to develop post partem depression. PTSD if we must be technical. She began detaching herself from her daughters. Any motherly emotion she should have felt instantly faded. Leaving her strangely cold to the idea they might not be alive for long. They were broken children anyway. Nothing of use for her in the long run. Instead of bowing to their expectations of her demise she proved them wrong, she survived yet at the price of a life being connected to hospital visits and medications. She had her first surgery at two when her ailment created a block to one of her arteries. Then again on her seventh year.
As a young child, she often tried to vie for her mother’s attention. The only parent whom was near them often was her father but that was only when he came home. He worked overseas you see, mother barely looked at them. Even as a young child she noticed those instances of coldness lingering on her mother’s orbs every time she or her sister approached her. She often made excuses, she’s too busy she always says. Go to your nanny. Their mother barely gave them the time of day in their young existence. She remembered her and her twin being tossed between caretaker to nanny on a daily basis.
Their nanny, an elderly lady became their mother in a way. Next came their brother whom dotted on the twins often. Mother seemed to love their brother far more than she did to them. At such a young age, she never did understand her reasons to why she neglected them. Physically she never harmed them. She gave them their needs all except for the parental love they yearned. She was once like her sister, always wishing for their mother’s love. But that soon ended. She grew tired, of it. It was around seven years when she decided to stop.
Ironically it was also at that age when her aunt came to them. Her father’s sister whom he actually begged to live with them. He had begun to grew worry over the state of his wife’s mental health. Their frequent arguments always lingered on how she treated their little girls. He couldn’t do much, he wasn’t often there. So he had to compromise. He knew how her sister adored her nieces and nephews but at the same time despised his wife, he couldn’t exactly blame her. Zerika’s personality outside of work is less than desirable but she was still the mother of her children. That wasn’t going to change anytime soon. At the same time the feeling was shared by his wife on her dislike towards his sister.
Dumping those two in the same household…was like putting together two starved mountain lions to fight for a piece of raw meat. Pure and utter chaos was bound to ensue but he had no other alternative. He at the very least wanted to give his children some form of defence against their own mother. So Haruka came, much to Zerika’s dismay and annoyance. Her husband finally put his foot down. No matter what she said Haru was there to stay. Which suited the girl just fine as she was transferring to a high school closer to their home.
Haru in a way became both a sister and a mother to the siblings. She cared for them, she showed them affection they desperately craved from their mother. Katya more or less latched onto her despite the child’s growing aversion towards people. The quietest of the twins whom already questioned her trust towards others began to latch onto the care her aunt showed them. It was her whom taught them her love for music.
And it was the same love she fostered onto the twins. Music in a way became Katya’s escape from her troubles. It created a sanctuary in which she can forget her own issues.Her family troubles, her worries became inexistent. Music became a kin to a lover to her, a friend someone whom she can rely on.
But music… in true was a double-edged sword she hadn’t anticipated. It was during one of those instances where her aunt was teaching her and twin how to play the piano. She took to it like a fish to water while her sister was a close second. Their mother had been nearby when it happened, when she finally took noticed of her daughter’s talent in the musical arts. After all she prided herself for having worked in the same industry. She knew how to spot talent when it slapped her to the face. She could see the rough diamonds within her daughters. It was there she realized, that maybe she can manage to repair her broken children if not at least make some use out of them.
It was there the following weeks in which the girls finally got some for attention from their mother. The coming weeks music lessons got added into their schedules. The tutors their mother got were strict, the sort who demanded perfection out of their pupils. Her sister found her passion towards violins while she remained playing the piano. It was nine when they began playing for people. Mini concerts in which her mother would sign them up, her way of practically gloating the children she deemed worthless from birth. Yet their mother only showed them attention, none of it held a mother’s love. Haruka often got into arguments with their mother for their sake. Zerika often overworked the girls adding more and more to their plate. Which further irked Haruka to no end. Her sister tried her best, despite how their mother verbally berate them for the tiniest mistake in her presence. Kat had always tried to shield her younger twin. She was the oldest of the twins after all. Her duty had been to try and protect her innocent sister. And protect her she did, at the cost of shouldering most of the burden.
At that age a child was supposed to enjoy what small years childhood offered them but instead she had to learn how to pretend. To act, to force a smile even if she had no real reason to. It was how she learned how to act. And how she found out she had a knack for it. She began burying everything inside. Hiding it underneath a hidden box within her chest.
Locked up in chains circled by numerous coded locks. That’s where Kat locked everything deep inside where she’s sure it wouldn’t spill out. But she’s human… one of these days all of it was going to spill. No matter how tight of a grip she had on her mask. Ah… masks, during the years she build up quite a collection of it. It started when she realized their mother expected more than what they could give her. Their mother made no attempts to hide her greed in terms for asking her daughters to please her. Kat tried for a few years until only… innocent Lily was left vie for their mother’s inexistent love for them.
Years of stress on her young body wreaked havoc with her already fragile health. Her hospital visits became frequent the further she stressed her body. But still she learned to ignore it. Even ill her mother often forced them to work. So it became second nature for her to start ignoring her health. After all mother, didn’t care… despite seeing the fear on her sister’s eyes every time she collapsed out of exhaustion.
Short stays soon started stretching into week long stays in the hospital. Sometimes going as far as two weeks when her health started falling. She remembered how her grandmother often came to visit her in her father's steed. She stayed there, amusing the child with pictures, rune symbols which soon drew out her curiosity. As a way to amuse the curious child her grandmother happily began teaching her. Seals she told them they were, but as a young child at the time she hardly took note of their importance. To her, they were merely interesting symbols that caught her eye. Her grandmother only did it to amuse her. She knew that now that she's able to dwell on it, but soon mere amusement turned into a reason for her to actually visit their grandparents. She soon began spending time in their large manor, often in the presence of their grandmother whom actually enjoyed passing her knowledge despite knowing the fact the girl might not be able to use any of it in the future.
She didn’t remember when she started hiding her ailments from those around her. Maybe it was to keep her sister from worrying over her health like how she did with hers on a daily basis. Her dear sister was the one she was most concern of Lily…wasn’t known for having common sense in her system. If she had…she would have stopped trying to please their mother. It she had then she wouldn’t have agreed to their mother enlisting them both as candidates for a new idol project her company was working on. ‘Cinderella girls’ she heard her mother explain from time to time. But most of it she drowned as nonsense. Still her sister was excited at the prospect. For her…she reluctantly agreed. They were 12 when that happen.
Now dance lessons as well as voice got added into their plates yet she didn’t complain. She didn’t complain when her older brother began focusing more on his life, and what mother wanted. She didn’t say a word when he focused more on his school work. That was his life, all she did was merely focus on the task given to her. Nothing more nothing else.
Haruka, blessed her soul became the glue for the siblings she made sure none of the children forgot how to be kids even if it involved physically dragging her out of her room while she worked on her own piano pieces to spend with her siblings. Sometimes it’ll be out for ice cream or a picnic depending on her dear aunt’s mood at the time.
She often said it annoyed her but deep down the act often brought a small miniscule smile to her face. It was the time she can actually see the joy in her twin’s eyes. For that she was thankful for her aunt. Plus, the upside was she gets to spend time with her aunt despite her also growing schedule. Her aunt was a member of a band called Sleepless phantom whom also made their debut on the same talent agency she and her twin were in. Between Band gigs and college you can just imagine how time became hard to squeeze out of her busy schedule but still she made sure to keep an eye on her nieces and nephews. She didn’t trust her sister in law with a puppy, how could she trust her with the care of her darling ‘children’ yes children she began seeing the three children as her own. Instead of them being her brother’s.
She was twelve at the time when her aunt began feeling ill. First it started off as dizzy spells. Then it turned into weakening. Followed by her almost collapsing. Chest pains pop up here and there but she often disregarded it despite Kat’s already growing concerns. She wasn’t the only one. Her bandmates were practically begging her to see a doctor. She finally did, after their vocalist all but hauled her arse into the hospital. Kat didn’t know what happened after that, all she knew was her aunt coming home looking like she saw devil himself knocking at her front door. Cancer…she wished she figured it out earlier, her aunt wouldn’t tell her until at the very end of her life. Lung cancer, despite her impending doom her aunt tried acting as if nothing was wrong. She began spending time with them, teaching them. Helping with whatever they needed until… on the fourth month where they had to rush her to the hospital. Where she finally found out but it wasn’t through her aunt’s mouth. It was through listening to one of the doctors speak with her father and grandfather. It took his sister getting ill to drag her father back into the country. Somehow Kat felt annoyed by it, he couldn’t come if it was his daughter lying on that hospital bed but…if it was aunt Haruka, he’ll drop everything for her.
It was hard seeing the mother figure she came to know wilt on that bed. Day by day she grew paler, weaker. But every time they were there Haruka pulled up the same happy grin. She refused to let the kids see what really happening to her. Now if only she could fool her sharp niece. But she guessed it takes one to know a person who’s also hiding their ailments behind a façade.
Aunt often told her to live her life, to never let anyone hold her back. She kept on telling her this even to the end of her life. Her aunt perished at the young age of 24. When her cancer finally managed to win over her will to live.
Kat didn’t know whether she could cry, to allow herself that one moment of weakness to show. But in the end she stared at the coffin as they lowered it down with hardly a tear on her blank façade. Even as her own twin was balling her eyes out she chose to keep it in, adding it to the box inside her. Only when she was alone did she allow the tears to spill. To cry in silence at the reality of the only pillar she had aside from her siblings, gone from this world. There wont be anymore picnics, happy songs she’d play on her guitar while she and her siblings listened on.
The guitar was one of the things her aunt gave her but she didn’t have the heart to touch it. Too many painful memories she tried to buried deep but always unearths itself once she goes closer to her aunt’s guitar. Following her death her mother nearly celebrated in secret. Another thorn out of her side, her house was all hers again without the headaches of having to deal with her husband’s sister. To say Katazerika felt no sort of sadness towards her sister in law’s death.
Kat’s existence became a monotone replay of school, idol duties, hospital, taking care of lily and more lessons rinse and repeat. Her father began to grow worried but she often but shook it off telling them she was fine. But she wasn’t…all it took was her having to be rushed to the hospital again after suffering one of the worse sickle cell attacks she ever had in her young life. A blood clot developed around the right side of her heart. Which the doctor told her father was going to need surgery to clear. She was lucky to be alive at that point. Luck often did keep her alive, just to pleasure fate. She was after all fate’s new play toy. This was going to be the third surgery connected to her illness. Oh how she wanted to chuckle at the irony if her thoughts weren’t haunted by the looks of fear her sister had when she came to visit. All she wanted was to keep her dear sister innocent. If she couldn’t retain hers the very least she could was to keep what little childhood they have to her sister to enjoy. Last time she checked, crying over a dying sibling did not count as… a desire-able childhood. Then again neither was their predicament. But she didn’t have the heart to tell their father. He hadnt done anything before, so why should he start now. If only she knew it was her father who begged for his sister to keep an eye on them. The man’s hands were just as tied between his work and caring for his children.
It was during that time in the hospital when she began feeling a tingly sensation everytime she touched paper. Like an urge to draw keeps whispering to her. From time to time she ignored it. Often focusing on her books or music to drown out the boredom. But on some occasions, she did humour it, sketching animals she often spotted through her hospital room window. Birds that on occasion perched themselves on the window sill.
It took three months for her to recover right after that surgery, right after nearly flat lining a few times. She swore she actually saw her aunt waving at her a few times during it. From the moment she recovered the first thing Kat did was tossed herself back into her work despite warnings from her doctors to take it easy. She couldn’t. Not when she knew every time she slacked her mother would take it out on her sister. Adding more to her twin’s workload.
She was 13 when a girl named Aika joined their Merry group. A new idol still learning the ropes. It was also that time where her time as a solo artist ended and she ended up being paired with Aika to form a duo. She wasn’t too happy with it, hell she wanted to at least be in the same group as her sister whom was already happy with her own group. But she was stuck, at first the two barely got along. She was quiet, while Aika was lively, often trying to get her to talk when she didn’t want to. She was… in a sense reminding Katya of what her aunt would be like as a kid. And it hurt, she still barely got over her aunt’s death and now this girl who acts like her suddenly joined. To be honest she didn’t know what to make of it. But eventually she did get use to her antics, infact she slowly began anticipating it. She was… unknowingly allowing another person in. Regardless of the risk it posed to her own sanity. She was allowing another person inside.
Snow was what they called their unit. Aika suggested it, so she merely shrugged and agreed. Time got her to slowly trust despite her aversion for it. But Aika did work for it by being just as persistent and that was all lady fate needed to start playing with her again. It happened one afternoon, the dance studio was empty for the first time that day with the others heading out to lunch. She was left there, merely mulling over a sketch she’s been trying to do. A sketch of a dress she’s been pondering on sewing on her free time. She had just been finishing shading the lower hem when she accidentally nicked her hand on the sharp edges of the paper. Blood dripped onto the page, seeping into the paper. When before her eyes her blood began tracing the fine edges of her sketch. Right down the details of the dress she’s been working on. Eyebrows merely raised, a bit unnerved and somewhat fascinated she hadnt noticed the pen dropped from her hand or how the door creaked open. But her attention was fully fixated on the blood now moving on its own accord across the paper canvass. Slowly the paper bulged as if something was trying to break free, immediately the girl dropped it on instinct. Inching away as the very dress she was sketching practically popped out of the paper. Disbelief for the first time began crawling into her features. More so for Aika whom actually went back to try and drag her wayward friend to have lunch with them.
What she came into…was seeing a dress practically forced its way out of a notebook and her stunned friend just watching it. What’s a girl to do? A girl whom actually listens to her instincts first instead of her brain? Fear fuelled her own instincts. Who wouldn’t be when you just witnessed something that’s only supposed to be in animes, Japanese cartoons she often watched online.
“M-Monster…” The girl stammered, Kat immediately snapped her neck to her direction. She herself was already in shock, she tried forcing out words through her throat but nothing came, only the sheer horror as she noted the fear lacing Aika’s features. Aika was already beginning to back away, she didn’t try to, ask instead she bolted right out of there. Leaving Kat alone with a dress that seemingly came out of nowhere.
The next day she tried again talking to her friend but Aika wouldn’t go near her, instead the girl shouted at her. Calling her a monster infront of the others, of course no one really believed the girl. They hadnt seen it, Kat certainly wouldn’t tell them because even she didn’t believe it.
A monster… imagine her reaction to hear a supposed friend call her that. She hadn’t heard Lily practically flipping out on Aika or how the rest were already watching it out of stunned silence until their manager merely dragged her so called partner out until she calmed down.
A person she trusted…. Could be that cruel. It made her question her decision before on trusting people. Because of her, she began steeling her own heart back into its icy shell, she began looking back to how it happened, to what happened. That weird event she couldn’t figure out, she hadn’t attempted it again this time out of fear of not understanding why it had to happen. She had wished it hadn’t happened. But you can’t change the past. That was a given rule of the universe. But all she could was wish for it to disappear, something must have heard her because stopped feeling the tingling sensation she often felt when she touched paper. In the coming weeks so called partner practically left the agency. She was once more on her own.
She hadn’t heard anymore from Aika, she didn’t dare try to contact her either. For the now fifteen year old things started growing hectic again. Both in her outside and home life. Their mother began her charade again this time focusing on her sister. Despite her attempts in trying to stop her mother from outright degrading her poor sister. Lily had this massive sweet tooth she couldn’t control and so their mother often called her fat, even if she wasn’t. She was a healthy girl. Who enjoyed sweets. Her sister wasn’t pudgy but her mother wasn’t convinced. And Lily being Lily…she wanted to further please their mother. Against Kat and her brother’s knowledge the girl went online and manage to procure for herself a pack of experimental diet pills. Now if only she knew what kind of chaos would happen from those pills…she took them. For a full three days before she suddenly passed out during dance practice, before beginning to convulse on the floor. She was rushed to the hospital, strike two for Kat’s own nerves when she had to watch her sister literally get her stomach pumped out. Of course her father immediately flew back in once he found out, but by then it was only her and grandmother whom had to listen to the doctor as they had to rush her sister to surgery. Apparently she had an allergic reaction to the pills she was taking. The very same pills they found on her sister’s bag.
Again…another thing her mother caused.
And now she might end up losing her other half, but they managed to save her…unfortunately the stress caused her sister to slip into a coma to which she’s still in to this day.
One by one… First her aunt, and then her friend. And now her twin. The so called box inside her was beginning to burst, the locks barely holding the contents back. She knew one more hit and it was all going to burst free. She didn’t know how she managed the coming days. Between listening to her mother’s uncaring attitude towards her sister and then her father practically screaming at their mother. Threatening to move her kids out of her care, he was willing, willing enough to send the kids to their grandparents until their mother went to get mental help but she wouldn’t budge.
Honestly she stopped caring at this point. Even to how it led to her walking to the roof of the company building. 20 storeys from the ground floor in which she could actually see the night traffic beginning to slowly unwind in middle Shinjuku. What was supposed to be just a quick breath of fresh air turned into her walking over the ledge, sitting down while watching the roars of traffic underneath. They really did looked like ants…. Tiny little ants from her vantage point. One little nudge and might get to know what it feels like to have the wind slap her face… Well it would have been if someone had’nt placed their hand on her shoulder. The company president…and older gentlemen in his mid sixties stood over her with his aged grandfatherly smile and salt and pepper hair. The old man whom treated the kids as if they were his grandchildren. It all came as a blur to the child, the next she was in his office were her father was actually talking to him. She barely paid heed to their talks. Probably trying to decide which asylum to dump her in.
But they weren’t instead. Both had long decided the girl already tittering towards the edge. If tonight’s attempt hadn’t showed them that. Her father was the one to suggest a school overseas. He was incharge of her and her siblings…by all it was always the father that’s stuck deciding these things. And that’s how she ended up with her father already telling her she’ll be able to have the freedom they should have given her. She wanted to laugh, to pull out something sarcastic but instead she was getting a chance to be an unknown in a school outside of the country. Only this time…she decided to make sure she’ll REALLY be an unknown.
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